12.06.2009

Things About Music That I'm Tired Of, Volume 1



  • People referring to metal influences in a song as being a bad thing, unless it's a song by a band that doesn't usually incorporate metal into their music at all, in which case the song becomes "daring"
  • Anything that anyone, anywhere might have to say about OK Computer
  • Indie-folk songs about traveling
  • Bands trying to incorporate dance influences into their music, and by "dance" I mean a goofy synthesizer line shoved in the middle of a bunch of generic rock instrumentation
  • Any metal about feelings
  • Muse
  • People who don't understand anything about the blues talking about how Jimmy Page "stole" his riffs from blues musicians
  • People who say that they hate country but love Johnny Cash-even I do this a lot and it's starting to piss me off
  • Teenagers with opinions about The Clash
  • People who talk about Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band in a manner that suggests that no album was recorded before Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
  • Itunes Genius insisting that I will enjoy Ted Nugent because it noticed that I have Thin Lizzy albums
  • Last.fm's inability to let you pause songs, making it a powerful music search engine less technologically advanced than a VCR
  • A man with a guitar or a piano, covering a Bob Dylan song
  • People who like technical death metal and can't admit that they listen to music that's boring as fuck
  • The idea that Coldplay has anything to offer anyone who isn't an old woman or a baby
  • Bono
  • Anyone who doesn't have more than 3 rap albums in their collection and insists that It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back is one of the greatest albums of all time
  • Any thought that may pass through Brendan Flowers' head
  • Otherwise diverse "Best of the '60s" lists that are frontloaded with Beatles albums
  • Nu-Metal apologists
  • Everything about Sufjan Stevens
  • The notion that any and all Black Sabbath records that weren't recorded with Ozzy and aren't Dehumanizer are anything less than odious
  • The idea that punk is somehow a less retarded genre than heavy metal, claimed by people whose knowledge of either begins and ends with the Ramones and Led Zeppelin
  • The music of the Red Hot Chili Peppers
  • People who will claim that the psychedelic era of the Beatles was their best and that their pop era sucked, and then have the audacity to enjoy "Got To Get You Into My Life"
  • Pitchfork Media talking about how much they love an album in the same way a drunk might tell you to your face how bad he wants to fuck your girlfriend
  • Gene Simmons' opinions
  • Animal Collective
  • Those motherfucking Goddamn baby boomers
That should do it for now.

-CJ

3 comments:

  1. How can you be sick of GENE SIMMONS' opinions?!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. That's right, he's Israeli, isn't he? Fuck, I think I'm going to jail.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Adrian has somehow formed the belief that Gene Simmons is the most epic person ever after listening to this: http://erim.net/misc/GeneSimmons_TerryGross.mp3

    ReplyDelete