Guest Review! Avril Lavigne-Goodbye Lullaby

[We're a pretty diverse bunch of reviewers over here at Styrofoam Boots, but it's not unfair to say that there are at least a few genres we don't(or won't) cover, teenybopper pop chief among them. That's where this installment's special guest reviewer, Charlie George, comes in. Drawing parallels to Ricky Bobby in having two first names, Charlie is an all-American teenager who loves Captain Beefheart and Electric Wizard as much as he does Alanis Morisette and Demi Lovato. Today he charges through the latter end of the spectrum and tells us why Avril Lavigne's latest is actually a damn good album. Personally, I think it's a very compelling review and an interesting take on an album I would otherwise have no interest in. Hopefully you'll agree by the time you finish reading. Take it away, Charlie!-CJ]

Celebrity gossip has always been frowned upon in my family. My parents have always held the belief that, since they'd probably get divorced after giving each other STD's anyway, there's no sane reason to keep up with, lets say, an actress's love life. But when Avril Lavigne, an artist who I've adored since second grade, was getting married to Sum 41 frontman Deryck Whibley, I had a strange sense of hope that she wouldn't fall into the same trap as all the others. After all, Avril has never been your typical celebrity: At the beginning of her career, she was correctly labeled as the "anti-Britney", penning lyrics as charismatic as her seventeen-year-old vocabulary possibly could; and while her Radio Disney friends have foolishly looked to the future of autotune for their music, each of Avril's albums have been drenched with nineties influence, from Radiohead and Pearl Jam at best to Blink-182 at worst. If the bottom did fall through for them, I thought, I must've been wrong all these years thinking she was something special; I would have to drink the KoolAid and learn to put up with Lady Gaga ripoffs for the rest of my days.

Well, the bottom did end up falling through for Avril and Deryck, but not in the way I expected. While I thought that this breakup would expose Avril as the overdue Britney Spears wannabe that music publications have led millions to believe, it ended up showing the world (me, at least) how talented, tasteful, and kindhearted she's always been. The product of her turmoil, Goodbye Lullaby, doesn't contain a trace of autotune whatsoever; moreover, it doesn't rely nearly as much on singles as her predecessors, and is meant to be listened to in one sitting. In fact, this album isn't even a Jagged Little Pill: Deryck and Avril worked together on this masterpiece, creating what is essentially the Radio Disney equivalent of Blood on the Tracks or (GASP!!!!) Pet Sounds. But with Whibley at the helm here, there's a sense of synergy through the tracks not unlike the modern classic White Blood Cells from the White Stripes. If I can vaguely describe the magic found here today, I'll be more than happy with this review.

The first half of Goodbye Lullaby is fairly light, focusing on the joy and excitement of being in love. It starts out with the short-but-sweet "Black Star", which, despite it's original endorsement for her girly fragrances, is still easily applicable to Deryck.

Now, it's important to note that, even with this deep topic, Avril never once reaches a state of pretension. This is especially true of this happy first half, mixing sixties girlgroup harmonies and genuine pop hooks with F-bombs and stories of getting wasted. For this reason, people have scoffed at "What the Hell"'s overly-commercial presence so early into the album. But to me, this just shows that, whether overjoyed or remorseful, she's always willing to have a little fun. Plus, if you give the track a few listens, I promise it'll grow on you. Trust me.

One thing you'll also notice is a surprising level of hi-fi value throughout the record. Like a female Jeff Mangum, Avril's guitar-playing (yes, she plays it herself!) in every track is so organic, you can't help but smile. What she lacks in technical prowess she more than makes up in emotion through her instrument.

Anyway, the rest of side one goes very nicely, with little to no filler. "Push" hints at the turmoil in their relationship, stating that "Even when it gets tough... Baby this is love". At the same time, it (along with several other cuts here) has a sound just like her debut album Let Go. But it's the much more solemn second half where Avril really reaches a Wilson-calibur psyche. "Everybody Hurts" has Avril repeating that "it's OK", even though she knows it's not. Or, as Dylan would say, "something is happening and you don't know what it is; Do you, Mr. Whibley?"

And like any tragedy, it only gets more tragic as time goes on. "Darlin" was one of the first songs she ever wrote, but it seems hand-crafted for Goodbye Lullaby, with her singing "There's nothing Else I can do but love you the best that I can". But her somewhat-content acoustic strumming turns into absolute melancholy near the end of "Remember When". From the beginning of that song, you'd never expect it, with a simple Coldplay-esque piano riff. But around 2:15, Avril screams in a way that would make Clare Torry proud, finally admitting "That was then, now it's the end".

But not unlike Trent Reznor in The Downward Spiral, Avril still has something to say. The last track, "Goodbye", is truly her equivalent of "Hurt". But not only does she match the late Johnny Cash emotion-for-emotion, but she has the same optimistic look on her destruction: "I have to go, I have to go; I have to go, and leave you alone. But always know, always know, always know that I love you so."

Guys, along with being an astounding record on it's own, Goodbye Lullaby has taught me something I'll never forget. Even though I'm flooded with stories of celebrity breakups everyday, I must remember not to scoff at them. These "celebutards", as my family would say, may seem to have no artistic value at first, pronouncing David Bowie's name wrong and getting into trouble with DUI's. But we must never forget that they have feelings, too. Feelings that, as crazy as it sounds, can sometimes turn into masterpieces like this. Sure, most girly pop albums are just lowest-common-denominator trash, but Goodbye Lullaby isn't like that. It's truly one of the most magical albums of the year. Thank you, and I hope you get the chance to give this a listen.

Drafting your Lineup.

Being "one of those finicky assholes who spends a lot of time and money on headphones," I've spent a lot of time and money on headphones over the past couple of years. I've collected my fair share of cans, swapped them out and had them stolen from me, and I've finally and definitively selected what I believe to be the best headphones in the "Portable" "Midsize" and "Fullsize" headphone classes; it's a given, of course, that every headphone aficionado should own at least one pair of cans in each class. Here are my three choices, for you.

In the Portable Class:

Apple Earbuds. That's right. I don't care that you don't have an Apple MP3 player, you should still own these earbuds; here's why: for one thing, I don't want to hear your shit about Bose in-ear headphones and their ilk / price-class. Fuck you. You spent too much on them. Right now, you can pick up a pair of Apple's buds for like five bucks on eBay. Let's consider the basics here: in my experience, these things have a life span of about 8 months given just the basic amount of care. I've got a pair now that's sounded fine for over a year, and they've taken a beating. I've spent more than 5 bucks on earbuds that stopped working within a month, and it makes me mad every time I think about it.

It's not just the price and disposability that makes Apple Earbuds pretty awesome though, it's also the sound quality. Yeah, I said it. The sound quality. No, they don't sound "good," but if you want to find buds that match Apple's in terms of sound quality, you're going to be spending $20+ and if you're spending $20+ on pair of portable headphones, smh, you're making your biggest mistake. Portable headphones are good for one thing: short walks with an MP3 player, and, newsflash: MP3 players sound like shit. They don't drive headphones the way they're meant to be driven, and don't deserve or need anything better than Apple earbuds. If you're looking for a pair of nice sounding headphones for something like the library or an airplane, you shouldn't be looking for earbuds anyway. If you care about how your music sounds then don't spend stupid amounts of cash on speakers that are smaller than your pinky, buy the Apple buds for short walks, and invest in some mid-size cans for chilling in public places.

Lastly, there's the whole "style" thing. I know, this isn't important, it's the music that counts, blah blah blah. But it should be noted that stylistically, these things do one thing right, and it's just about the only thing that earbuds SHOULD do right. They stay out of the way. They're small, white, and so ubiquitous that most of the time I don't even notice people wearing them. The same can't be said for those hideously bulky "Skull Candy" buds that probably cost you more and definitely sound worse.

So here's what I'm saying to you: Apple's earbuds are dirt cheap and they're better than most of the earbuds out there that are less than $20. Hell, they're better than most buds in the <$40 range. So do yourself a favor, and make your portable cans Apple earbuds.

In the Midsize Class:

I think the concept of Midsize headphones is lost on a lot of people, which is a shame, because they're key players in my opinion. Often looked down upon as "earbuds for people who care too much," which is, er, sort of the true, Midsize cans actually excel in a lot of areas that that reasonably priced earbuds don't touch, like sound quality for example. Midsizers do, however, come with their share of limitations: for one thing, they're bigger than Portable cans. Is that obvious? Maybe not: they're actually relatively small, which might give your average mogul the impression that they're good for, oh say, short walks with an mp3 player. Which they're not. I have a pair of Koss Porta Pros which run for about thirty bucks, and I can't stand carrying them around with me in my pocket or around my neck. And yet, I never leave them behind for plane-rides, trips to the library, and other occasions which allow for extended "chilling," which, as we all know, is best served with good music. The reason? I don't want to actually listen to music on earbuds, and when portability isn't a factor, I'll opt for something bigger and better. And the Porta Pros are fantastic by the way.

In terms of comfort, it doesn't get a whole lot better- the Sennheiser PX 100s are actually just a tad bit more comfy, but they're thirty dollars more... and feel about five dollars better. In terms of sound quality, the Porta Pros blow the Senns away; don't take my word for it, check them out online, they're unanimously loved for a good reason. I don't think much more needs to be said for Midrange cans. If you're going in for a pair, and you should, go in for the Koss Porta Pros, with their hilariously dorky 80s aesthetic, nice, round bass, shockingly open-sounding L/R soundstage, and general unreasonable value.

In the Fullsize Class:

Here we have the Audio-Technica M50s. I just picked up a pair of these babys and I'm still working on burning them in, but after a good 10 hours of listening, I can already say that they're leaps and bounds better than the Sennheiser HD280s which were my go to cans for mixing and at-home listening... before they were stolen out of my bag on the subway. So there's a great example of why you should have three pairs of cans: if you get stuck with a single, expensive pair of headphones, you just might try and bring them along, and then they just might get stolen. Or broken. And then you just might cry yourself to sleep (not that I cried myself to sleep after I lost my 280s or anything.)

Good fullsize cans are useful for two things: studio work, and listening to music at home. Generally, they're going to be responsive enough that you'll be able to distinguish between high and low bitrate music, so they're no good mated with an MP3 player, unless you keep a small collection of high bitrate music on your mp3 player... you weirdo. Another factor that has to be taken into consideration when looking for Fullsize cans is amplification- some headphones, like the above-mentioned M50s and Grado's selection sound fine with on-board amplification from iPods and computers, but some cans with higher impedance require an external headphone amp, a nice soundcard or a good receiver to really shine. Bored yet? My point is, Fullsize cans are best left at home, where they sound the best, stay out of your way, and probably wont get messed up or stolen.

I've tested the M50s against my old Sennheiser HD280s, a pair of Senn HD595s, and AKG K-240s, and the M50s are clear winners- they've got a cleaner bass and treble response, smoother mids, they're more comfortable, and their frequency response is just flat-out flatter. I've yet to find a pair of Fullsize cans I like better, but then, I work in the >$200 price range... still, I can't imagine a pair of phones sounding $100 better. Feel free to let me know if you're interested in more A/B tests.

In Conclusion:

If you're here on this site, reading this, you really ought to have three pairs of headphones. My choices? The Apple Earbud, the Koss Porta Pro, and the ATH-M50. I strongly recommend the first two, but remember, there are TONS of great fullsize cans out there, I just prefer the M50s. Regardless of which headphones suit you, make sure that you've got a solid lineup that'll keep you groovin' regardless of where you are and what you're doin'.

-Parker