The thing is, I didn't want solutions, I just wanted the anger. The hippies and the early punks both knew there was something wrong with the world. The difference is that the hippies thought that love could solve it. The punks didn't pretend to know what was going to work, they just knew the situation at hand did not work and they wanted to destroy it. And though both very quickly dissolved into self indulgence until they forgot about the outside world altogether, both the love and the anger, its that punk nihilism that I felt the need for.
And so I hitched my wagon on to the least melodic forms of punk, and onto noise rock and no wave and post punk and jagged experimental. I started listening to music that any decent person would switch off in an instant, and then burn the disk. And I kept pushing it, it never was enough. CJ once made a comment that I am in love with feedback. I guess you could say that's true, anything to push the noise further.
Wolf Eyes is the farthest I've gone so far. A band that sits just across the boundary between noise rock and noise music. This is screeching violent thrashing music. Its damaging, and listening to it is borderline self abuse. None the less, it is brilliant and every listen reviles more depth, but its that primal passion and anger that really drives the album. And though I'm not always in the mood for it there have come times when I need this album.
Its a ubiquitous cliche for adults to listen to resent music and say "its just noise", a phrase dating back to the Beatles, to Elvis, to Charlie Parker, probably further. But... we are young and we are angry. We are furious. And to express that, to even really feel that, we need just noise. Just loud music with no music behind it. Just volume. And we need to keep pushing it.
And this is the point I'm willing to go to right now. Perhaps I will soon become more desensitized and have to look into Merzbow and No Fun Fest and beyond for my fix, but at the moment this is what speaks to me. I feel as though its the sound and the feelings that everyone has, but of what I've herd only Wolf Eyes has had the bravery to express it.
I don't think my ears will ever forgive me, though.
Wolf Eyes - Burned Mind
2004; Sub Pop; Ann Arbor, Michigan
1. Dead in a Boat
2. Stabbed in the Face
3. Reaper’s Gong
4. Village Oblivia
5. Urine Burn
6. Rattlesnake Shake
7. Burned Mind
8. Ancient Delay
9. Black Vomit
sometimes we freak and laugh all day