The Importance of Being Metal: Prelude

A few days ago, I was tooling around on the internet when I happened upon metalrules.com's list of the Top 100 Heavy Metal Albums. Needless to say when it comes to any musical countdown list, it's wrong, and what's more, it betrays the same sort of favoritism that Rolling Stone does with lists like these. Just switch "Metallica" with "The Beatles" and "Iron Maiden" with "Bob Dylan" and you're pretty much adhering to the same principals.

Still, as is often true with Top lists, it does work as something of a primer, more of a "100 Important Heavy Metal Albums" than "The Best In This Order". And it did get me thinking: If somebody were to stumble upon this list and take it's advice, how effective would it be in segueing them into metal as a genre?

So hey: Guess what this new column is going to be about!

Now, I haven't heard all 100 albums, and I don't have the time or money needed to do so. I have heard about 30 of them in their entirety, though, and these are the ones I'm going to be looking at and analyzing. There are three questions I'm going to be asking for each one:

1. Is it good?
2. Is it "important"?
3. Is it a good entry place for a beginner?

But before I get to that, there are several bands that I feel I need to warn the uninitiated listener to stay away from. Most of their list is solid, but there are some real clunkers on here also. So in the same way you can safely discard anything by Fall Out Boy on a list of greatest albums of the 21st Century, here are the bands and albums to stay away from, lest they ward you off of the genre forever:

• Dio: Any album that has Dio's inovolvement(save for Dehumanizer by Black Sabbath, which doesn't actually make an appearance anywhere on this list) is utter poison. He's like a bizarro Iron Maiden, in that instead of taking unpalatable concepts and making them awesome, he makes you feel like that much more of a greasy loser for having heard his music. He practically bleeds Lame. Stay away from the two Black Sabbath albums he recorded in the early '80s: Heaven and Hell and The Mob Rules. And if any metalhead ever recommends Dio to you(and they will), make sure to slap them squarely in the penis.
  
• Motley Crue: Once again with the other-band analogies, they're sort of like a parallel-version of Guns 'n Roses, in that instead of being the kind of trashy guys that pee off the roof, punch cops and basically make kickass parties, they're the sort of dudes who'll fuck the drunk girl on the couch when she's passed out. And then puke on her.
• W.A.S.P: Imagine if Motley Crue took themselves seriously. Yeah.
  
• Helloween: Wanna hear where power metal bands like Dragonforce and Stratovarius got their inspiration? No, I wouldn't want to, either.
  
• Def Leppard: Besides having one of the worst names in music history, they also brought hair metal into the mainstream, and we had to wait until bands like Anthrax and Slayer came along until any "real" metal from America started popping up again with any significant impact. Is this getting through? They came this close to killing the genre. That takes a lot of money and a lot of really lowest common denominator bullshit to accomplish.
  
• Iced Earth: Think Iron Maiden without the vocal prowess, the charm, or the songwriting ability. That small "pop" you just heard came from your ribcage.
  
• Overkill: There's not even anything about them that I can really make fun of. They're just dull. And any band that limits my ability to throw zingers can go fuck themselves.
• Manowar: I'm not trying to be offensive here, but listening to Manowar is scientifically proven to turn you retarded.

Now that that's out of the way, we can get to legitimate analysis of their album choices. I'll be going backwards from the bottom of their list, until I make it to the number one choice, Master of Puppets.

My goal is to give you a solid listening foundation for heavy metal by the time I'm done with this. So...yeah.

Let's fuckin' go.

-CJ

The Music Tapes - Music Tapes For Clouds And Tornadoes

The Music Tapes - Music Tapes For Clouds And Tornadoes

2008; Merge; Athens, Georgia

http://orbitinghumancircus.com/

Elephant 6. What strange mother fuckers. Mid Ninety's, Mid West, Low Fidelity, Fuzz Faced Experimental Psychedelic Poptimists. Somehow though all the gloom and doom of 90's american music this relatively small group of friends were able to make waves underground. And yet through all their overly happy utopia-though-music vibe, their burn out rate was very high. After one of the most seminal records of all time Jeff Mangum vanished in a puff of J. D. Salinger dust. In 2000 the Olivia Tremor Control fractured into two less then satisfactory solo projects. The Gerbils played their farewell tour in '99. By 2002 almost all their activity had fizzled out and the label that bore its name decided to close its doors leaving of Montreal to spin out in wildly extravagant directions and Elf Power to release one more or less mediocre album after another. 

I guess it all changed around in early 2007 when the Apples In Stereo, who never officially broke up, released their first album in five years. Turn it over and, to every one's surprise, there stood the Elephant 6 logo, fresh out of retirement. But it was 2008 that really marked the second coming. A huge, collective wide Holiday Surprise tour; Jeff Mangum's first concert appearance in god knows how long; the long awaited debut of the Major Organ and the Adding Machine film; even the emergence of some new bands such as Nana Grizol (check out Love It, Love It if you have the time. Its flamboyantly gay but in an absolutely awesome way).

But the man who really took charge was Julian Koster, formally of Neutral Milk Hotel and Chocolate USA. In one short year he arranged the Holiday Surprise tour, released the much anticipated second Music Tapes album (nine years after the first one), put out an album of chirstmas carols under his given name, went on a mother fucking door to door caroling tour, persuaded hand saws to sing, built a seven foot tall metronome, lifted spirts everywhere, brought love to poor children across the globe, orchestrated world peace, found Waldo, and baked some really goddamn good cookies. 

If that does not win the award for longest introduction to an album review then I give up.

But of course we are here to talk about his surprising August release, The Music Tapes For Clouds And Tornadoes. This is an album that you could store safely under the label of experimental pop. It starts with using lo-fi in a very different light. Recorded on a vast amount of different mediums, including a 1930's wire recorder, a number of reel to reel tape machines, a Hi-8 video camera, a handheld cassette recorder, and a (gasp) computer, it never strays into the god-I-cant-hear-what-their-fucking-saying territory that is generally associated with the genre. Instead the recording equipment is used as an instrument in itself, morphing the vocals and instruments into sounds you've never herd before, sometimes fuzzier, sometimes warmer, sometimes crackling, sometimes crazier, always different. The array of sound makers used to begin with is impressive. Bowed guitar, accordion, magnus organ, harmonium, string quartet, trumpet, fugal horn, melodica, seven foot tall metronome, programed television, and a home made tape organ designed by Eric Harris. With the base brought in by Koster's stumed banjo and constant use of the singing saw it all creates such a symphony like absolutely nothing else. 

And all of this is used to get across the feeling of...joy. This, if nothing else, took me aback. You see, I don't generally like "happy" music. I would take SoundGarden over Oasis any day, the Mountain Goats over Grizzly Bear. I find most optimistic music to be unabashed escapism or pure empty saccharine. And especially these days with the legions of smiling cutesy indie pop fanatics, songs with up beat messages tend to make me sick. But.. there are no exaggerated smiles on the faces of the Music Tapes and if this music is indeed analogise to ice cream then at least it contains the mother fucking calories. These songs sound like they don't belong to any time, that they were always floating in some kind of subspace that you can slip into when you like. These are not songs for when you get a new unicorn sticker or find that you can draw big anime eyes better. These are songs for when you pass the big fountain in central park and decide yes, goddammit, you do in fact have to jump in it. These are songs for driving way to fast down a highway while your friend stands out of the sun roof and shouts and laughs. These are songs for when you realize you are so fucking in love with life and you never want this moment to end.

I'll repeat something that was said to me: Unless you are already a Music Tapes fan you haven't experienced anything so distinct in a long time.

Theres one thing I know for sure

Your beautiful.

1. Saw Ping Pong And Orchestra
2. Schedrevka
3. Freeing Song for Reindeer
4. Majesty
5. Nimbus Stratus Cirrus (Mr. Piano’s Majesty)
6. Freeing Song by Reindeer
7. Tornado Longing for Freedom
8. Songs for Oceans Falling
9. Kolyada #1
10. The Minister of Longitude
11. Manifest Destiny
12. Kolyada #2
13. Cumulonimbus (Magnetic Tape for Clouds)
14. Julian and Grandpa
15. In an Ice Palace

If You Are To Watch This Video Please Do It At Very High Volume

children will dream of you as they grow old

Toe- New Sentimentality

Released: 2006.12.06 (DDCM-7001)
Label: Machu Picchu Industries



Toe is the kind of band that comes along and opens up your horizons on what a genre or style is capable of, after it's been "dying" or idling. A sort of revival. Toe is often considered to be math rock, post rock, or a blend of the two, but in reality they've at least begun to take it to a new level with a style unlike most others. From their initial releases "Songs, Ideas We Forgot" to "The Book About My Idle Plot on A Vague Anxiety", they demonstrated steady improvement since. And that's saying alot. The Book was an epic album, which I've listened to at least a hundred times. 16 months later, they released New Sentimentality. Let's just say they've improved once again.

Toe initially began as a barebones instrumental four-piece that just rocked their shit (just listen to it if you're not familiar with the band), but recently they've begun to experiment with different textures and instruments such as the xylophone and acoustic guitars, while retaining their groove and style- which seems to improve and remove the limitations of the band- if they had any to begin with.

For the fans of instrumental music, I feel obligated to write a section on the instrumentation on this album. And I must say, the instrumentation is ridiculously impressive. As always Takashi Kashikura kills it on the drums, in a way that I don't believe is overly masturabatory. Even if it was, it wouldn't matter too much because it's SO AWESOME. Even for Takashi Kashikura, the New Sentimentality EP definetely showcases some of his most impressive (and expressive) drumming that I've ever heard from... well, anybody. His style is at least as inventive and creative as his contemporary Zach Hill, although entirely different. This makes it all the more fucked that Zach Hill gets legions of fans vs. Kashikura, which only a few cult followers that have even heard of him.

What about the other musicians?!

Sorry, I was caught up in writing about Kashikura's pure awesomeness. Of course, the other musicians play major roles in the band and may have equal importance to Kashikura. Without them, their sense of melody and half of the character expressed through their music would be gone. The guitar players compliment each other extremely well, in their personal Toe way. Although some American Football influence can be heard, they've developed their own style enough to call it their own. The bassist compliments the guitars perfectly with minimalist basslines and a tastefulness that is hard to come by.

But this doesn't mean that their music is flawless. Another problem with their 'genre', per se, is the fact that many bands that play within it end up with many songs sounding similar to each other, or to other bands (i.e Explosions In The Sky). Although Toe's experimentation involving new textures and instruments do enhance their sound, they don't deviate from their song-structural framework enough for New Sentimentality to be considered as the band's breakthrough album. Regardless, I believe that they may still be evolving past the fundamentals of their style and creating something I can hardly even imagine. LISTEN,



1 - Tsunagaru Haruka Kanata
2 - 1/21
3 - New Sentimentality
4 - Goodbye

of Montreal - Hissing Fauna, Are You The Destroyer?

Hissing Fauna Are You The Destroyer? Where dose that take me? Last May in the bart train with Adrian "Ana says of Montreal aren't psychedelic, but they totally are!" and Travis "Maybe I'll just run away to Athens Georgia and join the Elephant Six collective" and I didn't know what the elephant 6 was. Me and Ethan walking off of Telegraph Ave. him explaining to me in one of those wide eye'd 'I cant put to words how much this music means and how much it means' how The Past Is A Grotesque Animal was a man hating himself because of how stuck he was in intense love for his wife "its embarrassing to need someone like I need you". Something I herd Maxine say to Parker or someone told me she said in early september "I can't listen to of Montreal anymore because your not here". Walking up seventh ave into Chelsey looking for a photo specialty shop listening to the Ethan curated Strawberry Jam/one song Poison Control Center/A brief introduction to of Montreal cd going away present that typified my early week and two in the city here The Past Is... and clutching on to the ''things could be different but their not!". But that was nine months ago when I was a different person. In the first few month when I was so fucking small and scared and lying to myself and everyone at home and despaired about the girl. Stuart as Strawberry Jam/of Montreal introduction period. And now I at the peak of my arrogance I-don't-give-a-shit fueled super confidence everything I was not with Strawberry Jam instead being in full swing Stuart as Experimental/Noise/Brit Pop/burn the past/bitterness/insomnia/"I hope you die, I HOPE WE BOTH DIE" period. and I finally bite my fucking tongue and let go my doubts and buy Are You The Destroyer an even year after my friends jumped into it because I found it for two dollars on a record label garage sale. and its everything. and this time I clutch on to instead "we want our films to be beautiful, not realistic" "Let's just have some fun
Let's tear this shit apart
Let's tear the fucking house apart
Let's tear our fucking bodies apart
but Let's just have some fun"
...let's And if anything its made me hate Barnes more. His hedonistic over grandiose self indulgent self important white horse bull shit as he threw momentum all away on the next record. I lost that going away present cd in november and I don't know where Animal Collective now stands in my mind. I have not talked to Ethan in Months. I don't remember the last time I was in Chelsey. and don't get me started about the girl. but some how this is mine again. Its embarrassing to need someone like...

2007; Polyvinyl; Athens, Georgia
http://www.ofmontreal.net/

1. Suffer for Fashion – 2:58
2. Sink the Seine – 1:04
3. Cato as a Pun – 3:02
4. Heimdalsgate Like a Promethean Curse – 3:18
5. Gronlandic Edit – 3:24
6. A Sentence of Sorts in Kongsvinger – 4:54
7. The Past Is a Grotesque Animal – 11:52
8. Bunny Ain't No Kind of Rider – 3:51
9. Faberge Falls for Shuggie – 4:31
10. Labyrinthian Pomp – 3:21
11. She's a Rejecter – 4:02
12. We Were Born The Mutants Again with Leafling – 4:57

sometimes I wonder if you're mythologizing me like I do you

Dirty Projectors - Rise Above

Dirty Projectors - Rise Above

2007; Dead Oceans; Brooklyn, NY

www.myspace.com/dirtyprojectors

I've been meaning to talk about this album since the moment me and Adrian launched this site. And it probably sits as more important and more interesting then a lot of the stuff I have reviewed before it. But every time I've sat down to write about it I hit a block... I don't really have much to say about it. I just enjoy it to ridiculous extents. What does an eight year old say when you ask him about sugar? "Well... it makes me smile. And then I run around a lot. And then I would like some more. And its tasty and stuff." Its kind of like that. Some how David Longstreth's unkempt voice shooting up and down the scale on top of jolty finger picked guitar just makes me happy. The whole thing seems to pull you in different directions, it starts and stops and curbs at weird times. The two back up singers have beautiful voices, which seems almost out of place next to David's. It feels as if two of the villages most prised damsels decided to hang around Frankenstein's lab. And hell, if David Longstreth figured out how to create make-shift life I wouldn't be too surprised. The guy is really fucking smart.

The album also has an interesting concept, but for the most part its unimportant. You can look it up if your interested, but really know about it or not doesn't change the listening experience much at all.

So that's it. All I have to say. For the rest, the music will have to speak for itself.

1. What I See

2. No More

3. Depression

4. Six Pack

5. Thirsty And Miserable

6. Police Story

7. Gimmie Gimmie Gimmie

8. Spray Paint (The Walls)

9. Room 13

10. Rise Above

and i'm gonna have my chance

The Only Way To Fly

So I got a chance to listen to Led Zeppelin I/IV today. And I know what you're thinking: "What business do you think you have writing for a music column if you hadn't listened to those two albums before, you dumb son of a whore?"

Well, you know what?

That's rude.

I can only imagine what growing up at this time, listening to all of these albums as they came out, must have been like. The first Zep album I ever heard was II, then III, then Physical Graffiti. It's a weird layout of what they sound like, to be sure: I heard them as pure rock and roll, then folk rock, then balls trippin' pseudo-prog. In other words, I wasn't able to get a handle on them for the longest time. I loved the music(for the most part), but I wasn't really sure what the point of it all was. I've had a theory as of a few weeks ago, however(to answer your next question, yes, I do spend a fair portion of my free time theorizing about rock bands), and as of I and IV I think I finally get it.

As stated above, my first exposure to Zeppelin was with II, which is still my favorite of their discography. I naturally assumed that I, being the closest to II chronologically, was also probably going to be the closest thing to it sonically. And I was correct, but not in the overwhelmingly positive way I was hoping for.

Back in the 60's, blues rock was becoming popular with stoners and nerds, mostly due to a heavier, fuzzier sound and a penchant for wandering into Jamsville as soon as all those fucking Goddamn words started to harsh your mellow. Bands like Savoy Brown, Canned Heat, Blue Cheer and Vanilla Fudge pioneered this sound, and besides being largely influential in the creation of heavy metal, the one thing that all these bands had in common was that they all kind of sucked. You can only hear the same 5 lyrics and riffs used by one band, much less all of them, so many times before you wish they would smoke pot somewhere that wasn't near a recording studio.

Unfortunately, as stated above, heavy metal wouldn't be the same without a lot of these guys, and bands like, you guessed it, Led Zeppelin took more than a few cues from our bombed out trail-blazers. And to be fair, their first album was better than your average blues rock album. But not by as much as people seem to think.

During an interview with Rolling Stone in the ‘70s, Page had this to say about the first album:

“…I was under pressure to come up with my own riffs. On the first LP I was still heavily influenced by the earlier days. I think it tells a bit, too. The album was made in three weeks. It was obvious that somebody had to take the lead, otherwise we'd have all sat around jamming and doing nothing for six months.”

The one thing I would disagree with Page on is that it kind of already sounds like the product of jamming and doing nothing for six months. Most of the longer songs are boring with only the quickest snaps of interest: “How Many More Times” and “You Shook Me” ramble on far past their welcome, and most of the other tracks are completely forgettable. “Communication Breakdown” and “Dazed and Confused” are considered classics for good reason, and they stand out on an album that’s otherwise nothing all that special.

Still, Led Zeppelin and all of music took one for the team with this album, as it would become popular enough to make future albums possible, lay down many of the continuing themes of their music and open the band up to new realms of creative possibility.

A couple of albums in between and a mere two years later, we get Led Zeppelin IV, an album that has become a radio staple and what many people believe to be their crowning achievement. I went into this one with more than a fair amount of skepticism-albums lauded to be the best one in a band’s discography almost never are (see Sgt. Peppers or Dark Side of the Moon as prime examples), and I was fully expecting to hear something that I would enjoy, if maybe find a little tiresome due to radio overplay.

And for the first two songs, I came very close to being convinced I was correct-the riff to “Black Dog” is practically part of the Collective Unconscious at this point and I never thought “Rock and Roll” was anything worth commenting on. So far it was pretty much exactly what I was expecting.

Then we get to “The Battle of Evermore” and it knocks me for a loop a little bit. It’s soft and largely acoustic, with lyrics not unlike something you might hear off of an early Genesis album. Maybe a little goofy, but it’s a break from the radio singles and I enjoy it.

Then we get to “Stairway to Heaven”. And I am telling you people right now: I don’t care that it’s legendary, I don’t care that it’s overplayed, I don’t care if the guitar solo isn’t actually that wonderful, I don’t care if the lyrics are something approaching nonsensical-that fucking song gives me chills every time I hear it. Every. Time.

After that, the album starts to get sort of weird. And completely wonderful.

“Misty Mountain Hop” is another song that took me by surprise, as I’d heard the song on the radio before, but not nearly as often as the first two tracks. I could never catch the name, either, so it was a welcome curveball. “Four Sticks” hops and jangles along well enough, and “Coming to California” is surprisingly touching, as well as being unexpectedly dark when one takes a look at the lyrics.

As for “When the Levee Breaks”-well, you already know that song. It’s a fucking freight train.

If there was a phrase I could use to describe this album, it would be “nuclear rustic”. It’s obvious that they’d taken a cue from Led Zeppelin III’s folksier roots for this album, but unlike with III, there’s no confusion as to what this is, or who is making the music. This isn’t a folk album, it’s rock and roll to the bone and it never lets you forget.

That said, the imagery created through the instrumentation and lyrics is all broken dreams and twisted metal-like a hamlet at the foot of a mountain that just had a battalion of tanks roll through it. It’s not so crushingly bleak throughout, but there is a dark magic flowing through this work-a mysticism that seeps out only when the listener pays attention. A spirit of freedom fighting against a crushing force.

And I think when you take all of Led Zeppelin’s discography together, you’ll see that the one thing that unites them, more than the fantasy lyrics or the Bonham’s mountainous drums or Page’s unmistakable riffing, is that same spirit-the soul of the wanderer, searching for peace, or power, or cosmic knowledge, or maybe just a good time at a pub. It's more obvious on some tracks than others, but it's always there and it's always driving the song, from the bass lines to the organs. That, I believe, is Led Zeppelin’s appeal, and always has been. Everyone is always searching; everyone is always looking for what they need. I don’t know that there’s another band that can capture the essence of the traveler quite as well. I don’t know that there will be another in my lifetime, or even that there should be.

Just never forget:

Robert Plant is still a tremendous douchebag.

-CJ

Young Marble Giants - Colossal Youth

its four am and i can't sleep not that it should surprise me anymore but today is a little bit different. i must be a little sick i guess or something. i know i am home sick. but not for my parents house or my home town or anything its... i miss the feeling of being four and a half and getting a glass of warm milk and being wrapped in a blanket so much bigger then you you could get lost in it in a second and feeling... safe. feeling alright. scared because the world is big and it is dark outside the window but knowing that even though there are scary things out there they cant touch you because you are safe here inside this blanket you are safe. and i'm thinking about this and i miss it like i can't explain and i feel like crying or going to sleep and not waking up for a year or two or until i can get that feeling back but its no use because i can not sleep. and so i crawl out of bed and i find a cassette tape buried under a pile of clothes scratching around in the dark and i sit curled up on the wooden floor infront of my sound system and through my giant headphones i hear a tick tock tick tock like an old clock but different. and its so quiet. and the click of a guitar and a voice so expressionless so tuned out:

searching for mister right

waiting up half the night

feeling like I'll be dead before I'm old

teaching myself to be

the young untold

1980; reissued on Domino; Cardiff, Wales 

www.youngmarblegiants.com

1. Searching for Mr. Right
2. Include Me Out
3. The Taxi
4. Eating Noddemix
5. Constantly Changing
6. N.I.T.A.
7. Colossal Youth
8. Music for Evenings
9. The Man Amplifier
10. Choci Loni
11. Wurlitzer Jukebox
12. Salad Days
13. Credit in the Straight World
14. Brand - New - Life
15. Wind in the Rigging

your haunting me because i let you